An interesting term.  Why are they called bad?  We seem to want to do them over and over.  If there so bad, why would we want to do them?  Are they bad for us, or bad for others?  Am I obsessed with asking questions?  I am attempting to answer some of this in the following lecture.  If you don't like to be lectured, click on one of the other links on the left.

In general, I think people are just trying to be, or get happy.  Doing drugs, for example is a way people try to get happy.  Every bad habit seems to have a reward attached.  And most of them even include subtle ways of not facing reality, or responsibility, or just real life in general.  Avoiding responsibility is a way of avoiding the everyday stress of living.  Being alive can be very stressful, but, in my opinion, it's better than the alternative.  And not facing life is almost the same thing as being dead.

How much of your life are you willing to give away, just to be happy?  For some people, the answer is: almost all of it.  Drug addicts trade years of life, freedom, love and being loved - for instant pleasure.  So do alcoholics.  They are willing to lie, cheat and steal just for one more dose of imitation happiness.  They are also willing to drag the people that love them down the drain, too.  Then they use their crappy life and guilt as an excuse to indulge even more.  I was once in a bar, listening to a woman crying and complaining about her life.  Having enough of this, I said "If drinking doesn't make you happy, then DON'T DRINK!".  And a miracle happened.  She actually quit drinking.  I ran into her several times over the last few years and she still wasn't drinking.  This made me feel very good about myself.  Feeling good about yourself (when you deserve it) is a good habit.  Good habits are superior to bad habits, because they give you REAL pleasure, instead of imitation - and real pleasure feels even better.  It always feels great to have your self esteem boosted.

Low Self Esteem feeds on bad habits.  It's easy to get hooked on drugs or alcohol, or food to name a few, if you don't like yourself.  And being addicted makes you feel even worse about yourself.  You know you are using people and lying and cheating.  Maybe what you do keeps you from thinking about it all the time - but you do think about it sometimes.  And when you do you realize what you've become.  A selfish using type of person that is ruining their own life and the lives of anyone that cares about them..  And addicts learn to use that caring to their advantage, to get what they want.

Everyone On The Planet Has A Choice - whether to be selfish and try to get happy, or to be loving and giving and be loved in return, which is TRUE HAPPINESS.  If you have children, you need to grow up and give them a good start in life.  If you give love (without being a selfless martyr) you will get it it return.  Being loved creates high self-esteem.  Deserving love creates a comfortable feeling.  You can also feel good when you know you worked hard and then take a vacation.  You can feel good about doing something special for someone.  People that help others are probably addicts too, but they have good habits.

A good way right now to feel good about yourself is to contribute to the survivors of the Tsunami.  I don't recall any disaster or war that killed so many people so quickly.  Another way is to try being nice to your family and friends.  Stick with it.  They probably won't trust you at first, but if you stick with that policy for the rest of your life, at some point you will earn their trust again.  I said for the rest of your life because if you don't, you will hurt them again.

How does this apply to me?   If you are a drug addict or an alcoholic the answer is obvious.  If you are a sex addict, then you are probably lying and cheating to cover up your addiction.  Same goes for people that over-eat: it's embarrassing to admit to how much and how often you're eating, so you lie about it and sneak food.  And guess what:  You end of feeling worthless which causes you to eat even more.  I believe this principle to be universal.

Who am I?  Am I some kind of expert?  I wrote this article with the condition that I remain anonymous.  I am no expert.  I have had a great deal of life experience.  I wrote this so that I can feel good about myself!